Malaysia Trip

Hello Everyone.It's been days since I last update ,(yuck ) .

Anyway ,I just got back from a trip to Malaysia - Johor Bahru for a short staycation & shopping there.Although my husband and me didn't really quite plan for a holiday ,we were actually DESPERATE for a stay-out due to the stress of work and little time we had for each other.I could have say that I'm truly proud of this adorable little pumpkin as he was so afraid to bring me out of Singapore . Since we haven't had our honeymoon yet ,(very well , saving it for the end of the year ) , this is probably the first time he actually brought a girl out of Singapore .Pathetic but it's true ! XD Hearing all the horror stories of people getting kidnapped and killed even add in to my husband's phobia which turns out even rather cuter during our short staycation here. HEHE .

Being a newbie to all of these can be a real great thing ok , especially when your a family girl and you're not very much familiar with places than your own country .We wake up at 4 AM and goes out at 5 plus 6 just to avoid the massive jam .Like a typical singaporean , we truly do uphold the '' KIASU '' role huh , But it was all worth the early wake up call.The jam wasn't that bad . Jaka was telling me the direction and the way .He literally became my tour guide which add in the fun for me to do what I love most , to annoy him .

We arrived at Malaysia custom approximately at 8 am and waited for the cab to my grandma's house ( for a short visit ) .I have this fear of trusting the normal cars that behave asthough they are one certified driver , so we took the Golden one .The fair can be a little pricier compared to the usual ones , but what is money when it comes to safety right ? Besides the point , it is still way cheaper as compared to Singapore so better be greatful than nothing .Jaka was asking how do we get a cab back since we need to book in the hotel later.Plus my grandma's place at Tun Aminah which makes it even extra harder to get a cab there . Thankfully , the driver offered a cab back by giving us his handphone number .All we had to do is to call and he fetch us . Not too fast to trust , but why would he even lie if he can't fetch us right ? We tried ,and it was a success .No hard time to find a cab under the hot sun .We were not even late to reach the hotel !

A pleasant journey and a friendly driver that showed us places of interest from the Sultan palace & etc.We arrived at Berjaya waterfront Hotel with the guard opening the door for us .I can't deny how I  love the service & all ,Jaka's father was the bestfriend of one of '' Important People '' that is working there , so the service got even a tiptop .Got ourself  an additional free breakfast and treated like one of those VIP , hehe .

Our Room on the 14th storey

The sightview from our room 

The room was clean and tidy ,except for the fact that there isn't much room service :( Wasn't so bad since the hotel itself is linked to 5-storey mall with Watsons ,Starbucks and so much more to fill a little bit of an empty stomach .I could have rate the hotel for a 4.5 /5 rating ,. A perfect 5 if only there is more food to order in the hotel :(

Got out tickets for a Movie 

Eventually , there were many things that could be done alone at Johor Bahru . We went to have our lunch and then to Movie and then to Shopping .God I can't lie its a shopping paradise here ,especially for people like me who loveeeeee to shop .As I said Earlier the currency is triple time to ours(Singaporean), one shirt there can cost around 39 RM and when converted to Singapore , its only at a range of$10 - $18 ?

Restoran Senoko Seafood Thaifood 

My little baby getting all sleepy after a whole long day 

 We drop by this Restaurant which is known ,quite popular as I can see a lot of Singapore Cars here for our dinner .I actually didn't wanted to eat outside due to the tiresome of the whole day but My husband wanted it so badly so we decided to give it a try .This restaurant is probably located to a 5 minutes walk from our hotel which is not only worth the walk , its a good in value ! 35 rm for 4 plates and everything is still serve hot .I could have recommend this to all whose who like to give a try to stay near to Berjaya Waterfront Hotel.

Sightview

Our breakfast

Imagine this in singapore would have cost 100plus dollars....This cost 128 ringgit originally from Body Shop itself !

 A worthful trip to Johor Bahru and very well ,that my husband is bringing me again end of this month .I would surely love to go to Pasar Karats and the different unique places of JB which I bet , there is so much more.

To all my readers that are reading this and is an often citizen whom likes to travel ,do try to have your little staycation here at this hotel just as I do and have no regrets .Until here for now , bye !

Papa's love

The people that get to know us best, from our virtues to flaws, are our parents. They have the greatest influence on our lives simply because they are the people whom have  known us  for the longest period of time.

My father here , has had a huge impact on my life and it is because of him that I am the person I am today. A lot have say that I am a lot like him, both physically and mentally. Same mannerism, facial expressions, and thinking processes. 

My father was and remains my hero, my rock, my best friend and a life without him didn’t seem possible. It still doesn’t. How do you put one foot in front of the other when the ground beneath you is crumbling? How do you speak when unshed tears claw at your throat? My heart didn’t feel broken or shattered when my father died. It felt as if it had been ripped bloody and pulsating from my chest, leaving only a gaping hole to remind me of its existence.

I’ve written about him before in diaries and social medias .Every where. But it was when the grief was fresh and raw, and the protective numbness allowed me to focus not only on who he was to me, but to other people: his passion for social justice and political argument ; his refusal to bend to popular opinion and teaching me never to follow parties, rather to question and engage ideas. To be a leader of my very ownself.He was the man who gave and gave and gave to his friends and love ones  until he had nothing left to give.

Then he gave some more.

Among other health issues, he had an enlarged heart, which made perfect sense to me. His heart was too big. He trusted too much, loved too hard to make the people around him happy with the things they have . 

As fall settles in during this third year since his death, my grief is much more subtle. It’s not this looming monster that threatens to destroy me. Grief has become something that I no longer try to fix because, with time, I’ve grown to understand that it never goes away. You just learn to live with it.

But I MISS  his hands—wide, warm hands  that would rub my head at the times I am tired .He was a man full of pride and ego , and this was the way he express his love to me . I can feel it . 

I miss laying across his bed watching WWE with him and ending up arguing on who should win and who should not .

I miss his laugh. Oh, his laugh could light up a room and reverberate for hours after he left. I miss reaching for his room with my step mother just because I had a nightmare & I like his comfort .How it feels being the favourite daughter and getting too spoilt by him.

I miss his attention .His never the type that compares nor make me feel the lowest .His never the one that makes me feel competitive nor out of my comfort zone .Out of so many people in the world, the only difference between the others and papa was that he has always believed in me .He believed in my instincts ,he trusted my choice . Of course there were times when I do a mistake and he did correct me .But never in the form of demoralizing or scolding .All he did was to raise his opinion .He knows his daughter too well .He knows perfectly the things and words that will hurt me , and he will never put it on me . 

I miss walking with him ,Mind me ,my papa is a little too hot for the girls out there .Haha . I like how it feels like when his body is so huge and broad and he starts talking to me . He always put words ,perfectly . It feels so good being his princess , i never felt it again until now . 

I. Miss. Him. And the longer he’s gone, the more at home the hurt becomes.

There are days that I can deal with the pain and take it as a motivation .  

'' Papa is watching me .Do him proud ''

Somtimes , I just missed him and cry and whine to myself.When I remember that all he ever wanted for his children was for us to be happy, I realize that nothing would devastate him more than knowing that his death caused even a second of unhappiness.

But it hurts.  Of course, I can tell anyone the stories my father had with me, but a story can’t replace the feeling of laying on his lap and feeling his laugh reverberate until a responding smile tickles your lips—and knowing that in that moment, all is right with the world.

He’s always made everything right.. 

A love of a dad is irreplaceable.How egoistic , how firm a man can be , there is always a spot that is rarely we can see . Appreciate him when his scolding you , he cares .Love him when his making lame jokes . He was trying to make you happy .

I have love and miss you my dearest papa :')

Lunch@The Chevrons

 Lunch today with this girl of mine here at The Chevrons .Company event to celebrate Chinese New Year so this is probably the 1st time ever I'm breaking my virgin to  Chinese Dishes .It was in the Chevrons club anyway so the dishes and the arrangement of everything was some sort of a  '' banquet style '' .

 Seating with all these chinese friends can be a real pain in the ass laughing and talking nonsense . Believe me when I say that I don't know how to use chopsticks at this very age ! :/ I accidentally threw one of it to the person opposite of me during our Yu Sheng ,which eventually became a real laugh to these people .HAHA

Service was good and so are the food .Except for the Fish because I HATE FISH . Don't bother asking me why anyway ,cause it simply doesn't fit to my taste bud .My lovely husband pick the dress out of so many and thanks to him that I have received compliments from my colleagues.

Up til here for now everyone .Update soon !

18 & Married

18 and Married .

Some people say it's too early .Some doubt if I can make it .Some ask why am I not enjoying to the fullest .Some ,most to be honest ,have  no confident that I'll make it .It's sad that we are living in a society now that love no longer matter ,the first question direct to the man is a straight " How much dowry are you giving her   ?"

Yes ,I am married at 18 and no ,I'm not marrying because of whatever reason the society has to say . Shotgun ,force ,pregnant ,jobless whatever reasons you can call of .I got married because I want to .Not force or any pessimism people can have . I am 18 ,working as a Document Control and yes ,I'm more than happy to tell the world of my love story .

Jaka Aryandas.

His name .We were together ever since I was sentenced to a hostel at Kovan . I guess everyone has their rebel days & perhaps ,it's just that I started early . Pertapis wasn't an easy place to live at . With 60-70 girls in a house ,Allah knows how many emotional crying mad friends i have.There were curfews for everything .Eat,sleep,school ,work and even Homeleave, Like usual ,I'm always putting myself to trouble . Going back late . Arguing .Lying .Etc.

I met him at this period of my life . Never have i thought that i was ever going to be serious with him . A plain cute gentleman that has no idea who i truly am ,all I wanted was someone to ' pass time ' .I remember how much we had fun . Of course the advices to change doesn't knock into my head.Only until ....... We fought and I lose him .Only then I realize that I have started to love him .

The journey to change over a new leaf wasn't as easy as to say .Despite the stormy days and the emotional moments ,he stayed through my bad times . I guess all the Cheatings and lies and break ups are inevitable .We started early ,we love and just like other couple do ,we argue and fight .It was really a hard time back then .Surviving for months not meeting your love one .Being inside and not knowing what his doing , who was he with .All the insufficient trust makes it worst . I got into depression .An illness which I guess by now everyone knows what it is: Bipolar. Going inside the hospital in and out ,Afterall ,he was the man that came and took care of me .The one that makes me smile with his jokes while I was sick .

''Its okay baby .A few more months to go"

We sat down after months of quarelling,agreeing to the fact that we do still love each other . Planning on engagement ,marrying was still not on our list ...Well ,not yet. We survived only a few months of engagement ,until it tested both of ourself to its limit .From school to work to financial to FAMILY .I remembered very well how I saw tears in his eyes ,trying so much to work things out .He still don't wanna let go .At the time I was discharge ,I remembered how he promise that the outside world won't be alien to me anymore .We went for datings and activities together.

I guess ,his the only one who knows how much rides we have went through .It is sad to see everyone quarrelling  and families got seperated .I remembered so much pain we both encounter during the argument we had with my family .How can he takecare of her ? How can he afford to give her food ? Blah blah auntie story .A promise of w 2 years engagement was cut to only 10 months.We took the risk of course ,to let marriage settles the whole thing . It wasn't easy as I say .How much we can cry over the challenges that are pinning down on us .

''It's okay .Allah is there " 

Believing in The One have never been wrong . We took step by step in enduring and here we are today,proudly to be called as Husband and Wife .Perhaps ,it is too early .But it was never a regret nor a mistake .I am happy and still are enjoying .Just that maybe ,I don't have to worry going to club and getting myself touched by other boys .I don't have to  think of going overseas alone .I don't have to think of waking up with different boys day by day ,week by week and month by month . I don't have to be afraid of anyone that will come in my life,sweetalking and leave me out of sudden.I'm loved by a person that have vowed to stick thru me till the day I shut my eyes for permanent .I am cared to the person that have promised to keep me safe and love me for who i truly am .

''Indahnya semua apabila Halal'' . 

Poor little Man

Hello Everyone .

It's been days since I  last updated my Blog ,simply due to the long working hours and errands that I have to do .It's been an exhausting month for me ,coming back at 6pm daily and still having commitmments to be taken care of .My poor Husband has been sick for weeks now and alhamdulillah ,over his improving condition ,he is allowed  to go back to camp this Thursday .After the weeks now that I can say ,he is getting better again !

It was of course a stressing time for me to know that my husband got sick .His fever from 37.7 increases to 38 to 38.5 and it continues.What makes it worst was that his fever wasn't really consistent .I put hopes in him getting better and it got only worst every night .

His cough was a dry one .That explains my cute little eyebag under my eyes .I thought afterall , he was just having a fever.

I brought him to a Private clinic when I got to pay $90+ for a visit which is not even 3 minutes long.I won't deny that I am actually more than MAD because the doctor don't even seem to check him properly! The medicine was a lot yet he have no clue nor take the iniative to really ' check '.All he does was to ask a few questions.Period.

He was sent home the next day from his camp as his fever rises up again .God knows how worried I was ,it's so hard concentrating on something when you know your love one is waiting for you to be home .

Had to rush to the hospital after that when my poor baby is afraid of the injection .A grown up man ,already a Husband & still are afraid of the little things .HAHA . Had an x-tray done and doctor says there was a kind of Bacteria in the lungs . The more he stays with it ,the more the bacteria will be glued on his systems.Being a latrophobia ,of course he rejected the doctor's offer to be admitted .

Taking care of someone you love may not be that easy .With his medications and sleepless nights ,there is definitely NO WAY you can find yourself a good sleep .Forget about the cuddles and the pamper and the care , its your turn to be as tough .And now .I'm so glad his back in my arms again .

And to my dear Husband if you're reading this ,please get even better . Allah knows how much worry I had for you . I love you and will always do .

Modelling Since Young

I started at a young age when I realize on how much I was relishing on taking pictures & dolling up myself .I like Making up my face ,with red lipsticks ,contours,nice eyebrows .... Afterall ,I'm still a Lady and why shouldn't I have such an enjoyment doing so ? Fortunately ,we don't have anymore of those judgemental girls trying to insult for using too much make up .(Well ,i use to have them a lot when I was so much younger.) Make up hides a multitude of sins & builts the confident in every insecure woman out there ,So why the fuss ?

Until today ,I don't quite agree that dolling myself up is a way to impress what they call "guys" .

In my experience ,men tend to think that women wear makeup to impress them .Seriously boys .We don't spend hours blending three different eye shadow colours to impress those who fail to see the difference between navy or black ,isn't it ?People wear make ups because they want too and it makes them feel good ,so I simply think that caking our face is just another form of self-expression.

I remembered how badly I cried for a makeover when I was 6 .The promotion advertisement of a 3-hours photoshoot at a particular studio was out ,so how could I possibly push the opportunity away ?I enjoyed being a model ....well that point of time .I enjoyed ' pretending' to be one .HAHA .

I loveeeeeeeeeeee seeing myself in beautiful pictures .,I love being the main aim ,the one whom people will see and comment on it .Ofcourse ,for the good reason .

I pursue in Modelling industry while I was half-way schooling .It was fun yet so much stress on how to do the right posture and pose and smile and blah3. It was a good deal ,especially that the promoter was my bestfriend at that period of time .I earn myself a certificate on 2014 ,a day before my birthday and it was  a hard-earned effort.My coach herself was the Miss Universe of Singapore in the past .Can't deny that I am more than proud .

 

Got myself a comp card and I start to model eversince .Been missing photoshoots nowadays that I am married and busy with commitment ,but insya'allah time will allow soon .Looking forward to joining in my babygirls for the contest in 2016 and finger cross that my hubby will allow me to go for shoots again !

Until here for now ,xoxo 

Moving on

How do I move on ?

Truth is ,they'll never be able to do that if they don't choose to ' Try ' .

People .

They is always a reason for your break-ups .It can be either a fight .A cheat .A lie . A faded feeling .A hatred .A jealousy and many more of those negative vibes .Have you ever wonder how it feels like to be free from those that hurts you ? You claim to love them .You claim to be theirs .But truth has it . Was what you think is what he or she thinks ?

Islam have taught us on how beautiful the word Love is .I remembered upon breaking up with my ex and it feels like asthough my world was crashing down.I gave a scar on my hand .There and here and every single where ,its all HIM that I saw. His laughters .His smiles .

I felt useless .Worthless . .Others was trying to come hrough my way & I pushed them ,Rejected them in the fear that my old one is coming back again .But it never did .Until I took a hold to myself and I found a man not only better , but the best of me .

Allah have promised that if we trust him in the things we do ,he'll give us back something better ,if not ,best .You claim yourself to be a Muslim but when Allah takes someone away from you ,you complain like there is no tomorrow .You said you miss him and such .Have you ever miss the Creator of the world ? 

For the times that you see his/her pictures and you feel like crying .For the times that you miss his/her voice .How adorable it could sound like .How soothing it can be .How perfect it could make your bad day .How sweet when he talks to you with full of expression and love .When you finally feel that you've been loved and cared about .....Think again,What makes you think he/she is feeling the same way looking at your pictures ? What makes you think that he/she will be at home worrying of you ?

There is always a reason to a seperation .Forgive yourself ,then learnt to move on .Why are you fighting with fate when you both are already not meant to be .Through the fights and lowest times ,he or she should have been there instead of leaving you .But why the break up ? Keep yourself busy .Thru the times you started to miss the person ,always remember that missing someone is a part of moving on .Trust in Allah and yourself .Have faith and be strong .He doesnt make you his wife for so long for a reason .She doesn't ask him to be her Husband for so long for a reason .

Jangan melawan takdir .Kalau itu jodoh ,itu jodoh .